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Tuesday, April 30, 2002 | 01:54 a.m.
This is the worst year for me.
I just found out that a close friend of mine died. I can't even decide if I'm feeling empty because of shock or if I'm just not feeling anything.
Friday, April 26, 2002 | 04:59 a.m.
@_@;;; I just spent the last two hours writing an e-mail to the Residence Director of my residence area... And if I were put it into the standard double spaced essay format, I think it'll be about 7 pages long.... @_@;;; My e-mail to the Dean would prolly be about 3-4 pages. -v-;;;
And for what? For nothing. For Hecuba. What's Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba?
... er...little Shakespeare here. It's from Hamlet. No idea which Act, which scene. Suffice to say, whenever I ask myself "And for what?" I just start on that little monologue. -v-;
But so anyway, for what? Not much, really. It's not like the resident problems're gonna get fixed this school year or anything, and I'm graduating so I won't even see these problem kids anymore. If anything, it's revenge, although to everyone else, I'm saying that I'm doing this for the house, for the future of the house, which is also true. But I guess it's revenge that partially drives me on. I mean it's not like I don't have better things to do. I do....hundreds of 'em... >x< But my friend's close to breaking because of this house situation, and I just find it darn unfair that these stupid people're getting scott-free (scotch free...? @_@).
Although now I feel a bit hand-tied because I've just discovered that this friend's also been telling me things that she shouldn't have shared with anyone... @_@;;; I know I've only shared a bit of what she's told me to my roommie, but that's exactly how stories leak out! >x< argh...! If I'd known that, I would've kept my mouth shut more! Now, I think I'll just turn into a clam... ("Cat got your tongue?" "Why yes, I had to steal my own tongue! XP")
Wednesday, April 24, 2002 | 07:48 p.m.
I don't think there's much point in ranting how happy you are? I mean if people're having a good rl, I doubt they'd be online wasting time blogging anyway. It's a bit like poetry. You don't write about how happy you are because there's no point in it. If the reader ain't happy herself, then the poem's just aggravating to read. On the other hand, when reading about other people's ranting, you get to commiserate and gloat over the fact that your life's better than them, or do the opposite and get a dark satisfaction from the fact that your life's worse than everybody else's and you can safely wallow in self-pity.
Had two hour meeting with the acting Director of Residence Housing... I hope something would be done. The only problem is that the house director (teaching the house class) might get into trouble too....which is fair, I suppose, but since I'm friends with her, don't want to get her into trouble.
Haaaa... Just depressed in general, cranky, and need to do my readings...and I know I won't be doing them tonight... -_-; All I feel up to is either sleep or write syrupy sweet fanfics.... At least I don't have to worry about my grades for two of the classes since all the exams and other grade stuff're over. Only three classes to really worry about! >D (and it's only one of the three that I really hate and the other two, I do like, so that's good. :D)
hada wo awasete nemurya
yoru wa shinogerukedo
ikinagaraeru yorimo kutabaritaize
haato wo namida de kazarya
amai uso ni kawaru
sonna ikikata yorimo kutabaritaize
- from "Crimson" (Gojo's Image Song)
Sunday, April 21, 2002 | 01:17 p.m.
Ha! I've just finished e-mailing the Dean who is the acting Director of Residence Life for the campus housing the I'm living in. Took an hour writing that, when all I meant to do was e-mail her asking for an appointment. -v-;;; But once I got started talking about the house and the residence life staff problem in my area, I just couldn't stop. @_@;;; I still hope to get a meeting with her so I can talk face to face and see if she'll do anything about our problems....
But anyway....rinrin~ That phone call sounds like...... Ever hear of guys calling random numbers for girls so they can masturbate....? -v-;;; If you get a call like that, just hang up without answering.
Random seiyu obsession... XD As if it weren't enough that I'm obsessed (and I tell ya I'm obsessed! >x<) with Seki Toshihiko, I have to go listen and fall in love with Hoshi Souichirou too... >x< The first time I heard him was in Lost Universe, Kane Blueriver(s?), but I wasn't into seiyu at the time, so I didn't even notice the voices in LU except to note that Canal was done by Hayashibara Megumi. The second place I heard his voice was Goku in Gensou maden Saiyuki 'cause my roommie's really into it and she was watching it. My first reaction was what an annoying voice!!! >x< But now.... @_@;;; After hearing some of his radio talk and his other songs.... he sounds sooooooo cuuuuute!!!! *>v<* I mean, the voice is cute, and he sounds like he has the cutest personality!!! >x< (cuddly-wuddly cuteness! XD) His voice range is amazing too. So far, I've heard only Seki Toshihiko who has that incredible changes of voice that still make me confused ('cause Sanzo in Saiyuki just doesn't sound like Seki-san @_@;;;). Now, I'm listening to some of Hoshi Souichirou's songs, and not only can he sing pretty well, he has a similar voice change range to Seki-san's!!! >x< (Note that even though I've fallen in love with Hoshi-san's voice, my basis for liking is still Seki-san. XDDDD)
Funny thing about Hoshi-san's voice is that sometimes he can sound like Yuuki Hiro, other times he sounds like Seki Tomokazu, and other times, just plain his cute self! >v< XDDD And I could get obsessed with Ishida Akira if he had more songs out there. XDDD As it is, he doesn't want to sing, so there aren't many. same thing with Hirata Hiroaki, Gojou in Saiyuki. He sounds cute too. XD (Yes, I like the main four seiyu in saiyuki, even if I don't like the series that much. XDDD)
Monday, April 8, 2002 | 11:55 a.m.
You know it's spring when....
The squirrels're out doing their spring thing -v-;;; Last Thursday on my way to my morning class, caught 'em either before or after the act, and today, I happened to turn thinking, "ooh, squirrel~" only to realize there were...er... ahem...two of them in middle of it. Needless to say, I hurried onto my class. -v-;;;;
On a more serious note, I had not realized what had happened over in the Middle East when I wrote yesterday's entry. Not that knowing it would have made much of a difference, I guess. War's stupid, and men are stupid, so I guess we'll just never have an end of wars. I mean who the hell can be justified saying that they've a right to kill? There's no true justice in the outcome of a war. If the "right" side wins, it's the "right" side only because it's the winner and gets to tell everyone in the world that it's the "right" side.
Sunday, April 7, 2002 | 11:15 a.m.
Whee~ my first April entry~ (or rather, first entry in how many weeks? months? XD) And it's a complaint. XP
It's called "Somtimes it amazes me how people brought up in U.S. acts." That's a big general statement, and let me qualify before I go on, that it's probably only a small portion of the US population. Heck, it could be just people in the area that I'm in right now, or it could even be the stupid people in my college.
It's the bathroom. Or to be more precise, the sink area. I went out to do my laundry, got some detergent on my hands so I decided to wash 'em when I got back to my dorm (house actually). Someone was in the bathroom (there's only one for 4 double rooms on my floor) so I waited a bit for that person to come out. (Turns out that it's one of those that I term "problem kids" of the house.) Anyway, so I go in, and guess what? Water everywhere like there'd been a fire and the the firetruck's been by and dowsing the whole sink area.
(Get the picture? Now, get that laughter outta your system before going on to read.)
First of all, I don't understand how the hell you can brush your teeth and get all that goo in your mouth out on the sink _area_. In the sink, yes, but not the sink area with the radius of a foot or so starting from where the sink bowl ends. Nor do I understand how you can splash so much just washing your face. You obviously can't do it when washing hands unless you intentionally splash water around the sink.
Second of all, I don't get why you can't simply wipe up the mess after themselves so the person using the bathroom after you wouldn't feel disgusted. It's a simple thing. The bathroom provides free unlimited paper towel. You just get some and wipe the sink area. I don't splash that much, but I still wipe any droplets I might've made. (Not to mention getting more than a handful of papertowel to wipe the darn sink _before_ I use it. -_-;)
Now, does that sound like you? Yes? No? If the answer is "no," then you probably understand how I feel. If the answer is "yes," then please be aware of how people around you may be feeling, and be considerate. Wipe after yourself. You're not a baby anymore after all, if you are reading this. You can be just a tad a bit responsible for your actions. Or if you aren't sure if you do this or not, look after you've used the sink. Even if it's at home, it's nice for whoever does the cleaning or whoever's using the bathroom afterwards if you've cleaned up a bit after yourself. After all, it take so little, so why make more work, and ruin the day for other people?
People tell me I sound like a mother, or that when I'm talking, that I'm lecturing. Probably true, but when there're so many things "wrong" with the world, how can I not? (And yes, I admit that the sense of what's "right" and "wrong" is purely my opinion, but I still think I'm right and you're wrong. XD)
Anyway, one more issue. I was doing my reading assignment for my Vietnam War literature class. I've always liked Tim O'Brien's works even if some parts of it never fail to make me cry, but I've never been so struck by them as the one I finished reading last night. It's called In the Lake of the Woods and is about a Vietnamese veteran. I won't go into details of it, but suffice to say that the story's about the effects that the My Lai massacre had on the main character who was in the "Charlie Company," the one that was responsible (or would that be the right term, I wonder?) for the massacre.
For those of you who haven't even heard of the My Lai massacre (heaven forbid, especially if you are a U.S. citizen) it occured in 1968 during the Vietnam War (obviously). Supposedly (reportedly) there was heavy enemy concentration in the My Lai area ("Pinkville" I think?) and on that day of what's now termed as My Lai massacre, the army was supposed to move into the village, raze it and kill everyone. The reasoning was that all the civilians had supposedly left for market and if anyone were in the village at the time, they were considered to be Viet Cong or VC sympathizer.
So what happened? The U.S. army moved in sometime after 7am when people were eating breakfast, and they killed "everyone" as they had been ordered to do. (Not that it was every U.S. soldier that followed the order.) On top of killing, of course, there was the usual rape and other atrocities of the war that I won't go into details of. Oh, and did I mention that "everyone" really meant "everyone" as in women, babies, and old people? Heck, in the later court martial hearings, these people (U.S. soldiers I mean) said that they killed babies in mothers' arms because even babies were VC sympathizer and they didn't know when that baby could just throw you a grenade or something. (Notice how brainwashed these people were?)
Why did this happen? How could something like this have happened? That's what everyone asks, including some of my classmates. What people don't seem to realize is that however it happens, it happens because it's war, and people are scared shitless and it mentally breaks them down. I don't excuse the atrocity, since what was done was unforgivable, but I do blame stupid people (ex. government) for making war.
If you don't want that kind of atrocity to occur, then you just don't go to war. If you've a grudge and need to get it addressed, don't tell other people to go to war. Go yourself and get f*cked up if that's what you want. Don't mess up other people for your damned selfishness.
But I've gotten completely off track. What I meant to talk about when I started this rant was how history really repeats itself. The novel that I was reading was making connections down U.S. history: British vs. Americans, immigrant Americans vs. Native Americans, and U.S. vs. Vietnamese. And I think I can add our situation now, U.S. vs. Afghanistans.
What's the connection? Well, it's the theme of "they terrorize us, let's go kill them all" and no explanation or distinction made as to who exactly "they" and "them" are. Apparently in the War of Independence, the British had been known to raze random civilian houses (and kill the civilians inside) because they were frustrated with the American army that "fought like the Indians." And it's a well known fact (or it should be) that the U.S. massacred the Native Americans and completely erased many of the tribes off the face of the Earth. Why? Because the U.S. didn't want Native Americans, who had more right than they to this land, living, and partly the horror of atrocities occured because the U.S. was scared of the Native American fighting tactics. The My Lai massacre and all the atrocities went on in Vietnam because U.S. military men didn't like it there, many of them probably didn't even want to be there or know why they were there, and they were dead scared. Heck, anyone going into a war should be dead scared. More so, when you can't see the enemy you're supposed to be fighting against.
I won't say that the same atrocity goes on in the "war" that the U.S. is involved in now, but who the hell knows? Certainly not us, who can only get info through media coverage which is undependable enough since they only try to brainwash you, and unless you have strong opinions against them in the first place, you're likely to be brainwashed by the media messages.
One of my classmates raised this point in a group discussion, and I was a bit shocked at the response of another person. She apparently places complete trust in the U.S. government and the army, and assured us that "Oh, no. *insert you-silly-people-laugh* Such things don't happen in the army now." Her proof was that her relatives are in the army and so's her "futuer husband." Well, good for you, but what the hell do you know? You're apparently brainwashed. I guess you would have to be, if you're to stand the strain of being a relative to a brainwashed veteran, say.
I can't say who's wrong, and who's not. All I do know is that war itself is wrong, and as much as I hate to admit it, mankind is stupid enough that they'll probably never stop going to war until humanity itself is gone.
ari >> Didn't you say that you were gonna blog??? Or is it just my browser acting up on me and I can't see your new blog?
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